They are still trying to find perfect romance, perfect security, or perfect success, believing that once they acquire these things, they will be all right. Wrong! It is not what you have that will make you all right, it is who you are. It is how we deal with our feelings, our relationships, and feelings toward ourselves that will make us feel

Give yourself permission to go beyond being reasonable. Exaggerate being unreasonable. Give yourself permission to answer the following questions as outrageously and unreasonably as you can muster. Don’t hold back. Be bold and absurd and have some fun.

An exercise that may be helpful is to make a list of your shoulds. On the top of a piece of paper write “I should . . .” and then write all of the responses that come to mind. You will be blown away at how many shoulds you can come up with. No wonder we are so messed up. How can we ever find out who we really are under such an onslaught of

As you do this exercise, resist the desire to judge what you are thinking. Instead, observe your reaction and write it down exactly as you think it. There will come a time for you to look at what it all means later. For now, just become aware of how you are blocking yourself from admitting and surrendering to your powerlessness over alcohol and

Until you can identify and address how you are preventing yourself from surrendering, you will be stuck in an endless loop of trying to get clean and then relapsing.

Okay Doc, I know that I have not surrendered, but I don’t know what to do about it. Do you have any suggestions?

We end up focusing on irrelevant issues because our perspective of the problem is narrow; we ultimately miss critical information.

Remember the discussion on pages 18–19 regarding the neuropsychological effects of drug use, including alcohol, on the brain? Two brain functions are impaired: abstract thinking and problem-solving abilities. Both of these cognitive functions are necessary to effectively cope with life. If we are unable to use our abstract thinking, we can’t see

When we accept life for what it is, we will see tremendous benefits.