There’s a pervasive idea, at least among my peers, that [your 30s] should bring about a sense of calm and self-acceptance. We may have dispensed with the precepts surrounding marriage and kids, but there remains a non-specific expectation of “settling in.” Into yourself, into what you want. I took great comfort in this idea when I was in my 20s. I... See more

I’ve found myself wanting to get out of the liminal place I’ve been floating in — wanting it to be done already, wanting to arrive in clarity, wanting to feel more certain or sure about what I’m supposed to be doing and how I should be doing it. Part of me feels like this pressure to “get there” comes from the false belief that there is anywhere... See more

Most of our attempts to become better people, fitter and healthier, more moral/ productive/ organised, and so forth, make this problem worse– because it's basically impossible to pursue any program of personal change without the thought, somewhere in the back of your mind, that successfully completing the change will catapult you into a new and

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It would be ridiculous, anyway, to have figured so much out at 35. What are you going to do for the next 50 years? Settle deeper and deeper until you’re dead in the ground? It sounds much more interesting to keep being surprised by who you are and what you want.

I’m not arguing that experience doesn’t bring about wisdom, only that wisdom is an... See more