Theory of Other Worlds. Simply put, it said that when knowledge or power went out of this world it did two things: first, it created another place; and second, it left a hole, a door between this world where it had once existed and the new place it had made.

At first, these adaptations make it possible to survive. But eventually, the methods you used to feel comfortable and safe rendered you increasingly defended, shut down, prone to escapism, resistant to reality, anxious, avoidant, neurotic, narcissistic, depressed, hopeless. This is true because when you function through a series of defenses, fantas

Being open with your insecurities paradoxically makes you more confident and charismatic around others. The pain of honest confrontation is what generates the greatest trust and respect in your relationships. Suffering through your fears and anxieties is what allows you to build courage and perseverance.

When we were very young, our bodies told us that we could break through the constraints of the mundane world and seize a more colorful, wild life for ourselves. As we grew older, we caught glimpses of lives that looked more exciting and full of promise than ours, through a million shiny portholes, and we began to define joy as something that lived

I suppose this is what I mean when I say we cannot possibly know what will manifest in our lives. We live and have experiences and leave people we love and get left by them. People we thought would be with us forever aren’t and people we didn’t know would come into our lives do. Our work here is to keep faith with that, to put it in a box and wait.

I understand now that no one else in the world knows what I should do. The experts don’t know, the ministers, the therapists, the magazines, the authors, my parents, my friends, they don’t know. Not even the folks who love me the most. Because no one has ever lived or will ever live this life I am attempting to live, with my gifts and challenges an

The path forward from here isn’t that complicated. You explore your defenses and your shame with a spirit of curiosity, and you give yourself more permission to be your soft, effusive self out in the open. If that feels like a lot, remember that merely grounding yourself in the moment is a start. You stop and breathe and forgive yourself for who yo