Alex Dobrenko

The late historian Alan Bray, who wrote books both on homosexuality and on friendship put this eloquently: “The inability to conceive of relationships in other than sexual terms says something of contemporary poverty

I think we are well advised to keep on nodding terms with the people we used to be whether we find them attractive company or not. Otherwise they turn up unannounced and surprise us, come hammering on the mind’s door at 4 a.m. of a bad night and demand to know who deserted them, who betrayed them, who is going to make amends. We forget all too soon

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Buddhist teacher Jack Kornfield titled one of his books, “After the Ecstasy, the Laundry.” Achieving enlightenment, he argues, does not preclude one from the daily, mundane tasks of life.

I continued to write, elaborating on why that excited me, which led me to my first surprise. Those friends are some of my best friends from college. I used to see them every day. Now we live hundreds of miles away from each other and instead of walking to each other’s apartment, hanging out requires a flight or long drive. I didn’t know where... See more

a photo album meets scrapbook meets notes folder

Our bias is to always add more. More rules, more procedures, more code, more features, more stuff. Interdependencies proliferate, and gradually strangle us. Systems want to grow and grow, but without pruning, they collapse. Slowly, then spectacularly.

When a piece of trash drifts across the beach, it is our duty to pick it up so the next person can... See more