Sonya Sukalski

@sonyasukalski

Retired in 2022. I enjoy writing, gardening, hiking, biking, and new ideas.

All cardsCollections

Belonging : Belonging is the innate human desire to be part of something larger than us . Because this yearning is so primal , we often try to acquire it by fitting in and by seeking approval , which are not only hollow substitutes for belonging , but often barriers to it . Because true belonging only happens when we present our authentic ,

Belonging

“A good choice may go unrewarded for a long time.

The best choices tend to provide exponential returns and a hallmark of any compounding process is that the greatest rewards are delayed. Things don't really take off until years later.

Keep working. Be patient.”

James Clear • 3-2-1: On saying no, the importance of focus, and reading books

Question: How can I judge myself less harshly and appreciate myself more?

Ram Dass on self-judgment:

I think that part of it is observing oneself more impersonally. I often use this image, which I think I have used already, but let me say it again. That when you go out into the woods and you look at trees, you see all these different trees. And some... See more

Belonging

Judgment gets in the way of belonging

Many Americans today worry that our nation is losing its national identity. Yet the core of that identity is not the whiteness of our skin or our religion or our ethnicity. It is the ideals we share, the good we hold in common. Robert Reich, 10/20/23 https://robertreich.substack.com/p/a-final-word-about-the-common-goo... See more

Public Goods

My advice that I'd go to jail for (provided anyone would listen to me) is "let's focus our energies on fixing the old corrupt systems rather than tilting at the windmills of eliminating the bad people." Efforts to fix bad people always get lots of supporters, but never seem to get any actual positive results.

Ben Horowitz • The Architecture of Tomorrow: An Interview With Ben Horowitz

It may be that the most defining characteristic of our times is that, again, walls and weapons feature as prominently now as they once did in medieval times. Porous borders are understood in some quarters to be areas of threat and certain chaos, and whether real or imagined, enforced separation is posited as the solution. Walls, ammunition — they

The Fog of Parenting 10/19/2023 I know that is not the fog many people are referring to these days. I don’t mean to diminish the very real fog of war of which I know nothing first hand. But I have always referred to the first 3 years of parenting twins as a desperate effort to claw my way toward sanity through a... See more

I think that most people who say, “Everything happens for a reason,” can fuck off to a frigid cave,

Rob Delaney • A Heart That Works

Every cancer doctor has said some version of, “we don’t know what causes cancer. No two cancers are exactly the same. Certain genes are turned on or off, and we don’t know why.” They also say, “There will be plenty of things to worry about later, so don’t try to do all the worrying right now. We work as a team during the transplant, and when you are in the hospital, because there are better outcomes all around.” What they don’t say is hopefully the one with cancer also has a team. We certainly do, and I have taken a deep dive into gratitude because of it. The neighbors bringing: gluten free everything bagels, roasted chicken, potatoes and carrots, stuffed peppers, vegan chili, vegan chickpea stew, cookies, hangar steak with mushrooms, green beans, broccoli, polenta… Friends checking in, sending poetry, funny and inspiring videos, stories, messages of encouragement. Family checking in much more than usual, offering to come and help with the care-giver responsibilities, helping with the every day chores, telling me about new resources. Friends taking me to tea, organizing a meet at a nearby brewpub, offering for us to stay at their house near the hospital, bringing pumpkins to carve, and offering to come sing Christmas songs.