Sonya Sukalski
@sonyasukalski
Retired in 2022. I enjoy writing, gardening, hiking, biking, and new ideas.
Sonya Sukalski
@sonyasukalski
Retired in 2022. I enjoy writing, gardening, hiking, biking, and new ideas.

The fatigue of grief is fucking staggering.
I wish I knew more the context for this quote, and I thank whoever it was that put Rob Delaney’s book on my radar! It has been hard to account for the fatigue. It feels like I do nothing but wait around in the transfusion clinic or at the hospital. And then give up more of what I thought made my life fulfilling. Not that those things really do, or that they are more important than being with my spouse through his bone marrow transplant story. But yeah, the fatigue is real.
My cancer would go into remission, sparing my life, but the epiphanies sparked by this personal confrontation with death have stuck with me. They’ve led me to reshuffle my priorities and to totally change my life. I spend far more time with my wife and daughters, and moved to be closer to my aging mother. I have dramatically cut down my presence on
... See moreInsight from someone living it!
“I wish I could say you get used to people dying. I never did. I don't want to. It tears a hole through me whenever somebody I love dies, no matter the circumstances. But I don't want it to "not matter." I don't want it to be something that just passes.... See more
“My scars are a testament to the love and the relationship that I had for and with that person.
Beautiful! I hope if I have to come back and read this that it gives some solace.
The tricky part of illness is that, as you go through it, your values are constantly changing. You try to figure out what matters to you, and then you keep figuring it out. It felt like someone had taken away my credit card and I was having to learn how to budget. You may decide you want to spend your time working as a neurosurgeon, but two months
... See moreI hope I can find all these great ideas if and when I need them. How different life would be if there were no need to remember, to hoard, to angst about stuff I want to know, or when it might be helpful.
How exhausting it is to go up against the system
Judgment gets in the way of belonging