Sonya Sukalski
@sonyasukalski
Retired in 2022. I enjoy writing, gardening, hiking, biking, and new ideas.
Sonya Sukalski
The tricky part of illness is that, as you go through it, your values are constantly changing. You try to figure out what matters to you, and then you keep figuring it out. It felt like someone had taken away my credit card and I was having to learn how to budget. You may decide you want to spend your time working as a neurosurgeon, but two months
... See morePaul Kalanithi • When Breath Becomes Air
I hope I can find all these great ideas if and when I need them. How different life would be if there were no need to remember, to hoard, to angst about stuff I want to know, or when it might be helpful.
I think that most people who say, “Everything happens for a reason,” can fuck off to a frigid cave,
Rob Delaney • A Heart That Works
Every cancer doctor has said some version of, “we don’t know what causes cancer. No two cancers are exactly the same. Certain genes are turned on or off, and we don’t know why.” They also say, “There will be plenty of things to worry about later, so don’t try to do all the worrying right now. We work as a team during the transplant, and when you are in the hospital, because there are better outcomes all around.” What they don’t say is hopefully the one with cancer also has a team. We certainly do, and I have taken a deep dive into gratitude because of it. The neighbors bringing: gluten free everything bagels, roasted chicken, potatoes and carrots, stuffed peppers, vegan chili, vegan chickpea stew, cookies, hangar steak with mushrooms, green beans, broccoli, polenta… Friends checking in, sending poetry, funny and inspiring videos, stories, messages of encouragement. Family checking in much more than usual, offering to come and help with the care-giver responsibilities, helping with the every day chores, telling me about new resources. Friends taking me to tea, organizing a meet at a nearby brewpub, offering for us to stay at their house near the hospital, bringing pumpkins to carve, and offering to come sing Christmas songs.
spouse, rather than the patient): “We’re gonna fight and beat this thing, Doc.” The armament varies, from prayer to wealth to herbs to stem cells. To me, that hardness always seems brittle, unrealistic optimism the only alternative to crushing despair.
Paul Kalanithi • When Breath Becomes Air
Insightful, and my response, guided by the wisdom of “Stress Less, Accomplish More” is to meditate twice a day, and let all the challenges surface, inform me, and integrate however they need to.
A Good Life and Life
Too often, we view the fight as an unalloyed virtue. Instead of sharing our preferences and desires before we get ill (as though it ’s some sort of bad luck charm), we simply hope for the best and then wait far too long (and create too much family stress) before embracing the next step in our journey.
Seth Godin • Palliative care
Have you heard this story: Woman learns she has cancer, six months to live. Within days she quits her job, resumes the dream of writing Tex-Mex songs she gave up to raise a family (or starts studying classical Greek, or moves to the inner city and devotes herself to tending babies with AIDS). Woman's friends think she's crazy; she herself has never
... See moreSteven Pressfield • The War of Art
I wonder how doing what we love affect the very ability of our body to heal, to turn genes on and off, to become more resilient, body, mind, and soul?
“Of all countries in the world, America has taken greatest advantage of association and has applied this powerful means of action to the greatest variety of objectives.” --Alexis de Tocqueville, a French political philosopher, visited the United States in the early 1830s and was impressed by the ways Americans associated with one another.
