Sonya Sukalski
@sonyasukalski
Retired in 2022. I enjoy writing, gardening, hiking, biking, and new ideas.
Sonya Sukalski
@sonyasukalski
Retired in 2022. I enjoy writing, gardening, hiking, biking, and new ideas.
Lost in a featureless wasteland of my own mortality, and finding no traction in the reams of scientific studies, intracellular molecular pathways, and endless curves of survival statistics, I began reading literature again: Solzhenitsyn’s Cancer Ward, B. S. Johnson’s The Unfortunates, Tolstoy’s Ivan Ilyich, Nagel’s Mind and Cosmos, Woolf, Kafka,
... See moreMy dad wanted me to know about this interview with Jon Baptiste whose wife had cancer…
Jon Batiste Almost Got Kicked Out Of Juilliard : Fresh Air : NPR

Over the past couple of years my dad and sister have been battling cancer and my mum has had two strokes. This also made them more vulnerable during the coronavirus pandemic. Spending time with them and helping to look after them, plus coming to terms with the idea of losing them, has been a real challenge emotionally, especially as we live in
... See moreVulnerability, fragility, how COVID plays into being immune compromised and living in a household that needs a low microbial load could be a whole book. Maybe this is the place to envision some new corner.
I think that most people who say, “Everything happens for a reason,” can fuck off to a frigid cave,
Every cancer doctor has said some version of, “we don’t know what causes cancer. No two cancers are exactly the same. Certain genes are turned on or off, and we don’t know why.” They also say, “There will be plenty of things to worry about later, so don’t try to do all the worrying right now. We work as a team during the transplant, and when you are in the hospital, because there are better outcomes all around.” What they don’t say is hopefully the one with cancer also has a team. We certainly do, and I have taken a deep dive into gratitude because of it. The neighbors bringing: gluten free everything bagels, roasted chicken, potatoes and carrots, stuffed peppers, vegan chili, vegan chickpea stew, cookies, hangar steak with mushrooms, green beans, broccoli, polenta… Friends checking in, sending poetry, funny and inspiring videos, stories, messages of encouragement. Family checking in much more than usual, offering to come and help with the care-giver responsibilities, helping with the every day chores, telling me about new resources. Friends taking me to tea, organizing a meet at a nearby brewpub, offering for us to stay at their house near the hospital, bringing pumpkins to carve, and offering to come sing Christmas songs.
Methodology is one - not the cheapest.
