Sublime

The security of their attachment to their mothers predicted the amount of morphine that was required to control their pain—the more secure the attachment, the less painkiller was needed.

Children with this style show both a heightened need for closeness and an angry, rejecting quality. In the Strange Situation, a much-used research design, these children as one-year-olds are extremely distressed at being left by Mother but have a difficult time accepting her ministrations when she tries to patch things up.…

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Attachment figures can be cross-gender and even cross-species, but they really need to be something that the client, as a child, would have found nurturing and comforting.

Author Susan Anderson says in The Journey from Abandonment to Healing that in a secure relationship, a romantic partner serves a similar function as a mother does for a securely attached child. In both cases, the relationship provides a primary sense of belonging, security, and connectedness. Speaking of adults, she writes, “Many people function as

Trauma at any age is devastating (see my book Healing from Trauma), but when you combine it with an attachment figure…

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Author Judith Viorst in Necessary Losses calls the loss of the mother-child connection Original Loss. It is our first loss and tilts us in such a way that future losses will involve more risk.