Sublime

Seek out and discuss the principles underlying the other side’s positions.

Pay attention to “core concerns.”

Behind opposed positions lie shared and compatible interests, as well as conflicting ones.

Give them a stake in the outcome by making sure they participate in the process.

If a real estate agency selling you a house offers a standard form contract, you would be wise to ask if that is the same standard form they use when they buy a house.

Few things facilitate a decision as much as precedent.

“Look, we’re both lawyers [diplomats, businessmen, family, etc.]. Unless we try to satisfy your interests, we are hardly likely to reach an agreement that satisfies mine, and vice versa. Let’s look together at the problem of how to satisfy our collective interests.”

Before trying to reach agreement, invent options for mutual gain.