Sublime

Run your fingers in a very light, circular motion over one of her nipples, taking care not to touch it. Repeat on the other side. Bring your mouth over her nipple and let the moist heat of your breath cover it, as if you were fogging up a window.

Your only job is to pay attention. There, in that moment of listening, of using your desire as a compass, you go from experiencing sex as a science to sex as an art. That is the switch that turns the lights on. It’s what your sex life is asking for.

When we OM, we strip sex down far enough that it doesn’t even look like “sex” anymore—and then we feel our way back in. We let go of everything we’ve ever been taught about orgasm, male/female roles, and how sex is “supposed” to look, and replace it with what feels good and right and pleasurable.

Little girls, she argued, were worth nothing more than the medals they could win, so they were starved, abused, and used to keep their bodies and skills perfect—like “pretty boxes.”

Sex can be so much more than we have come to believe. It can be a gateway to more connection, more vitality, and more sensation in all areas of our lives. All we have to do is explore it with the mind of a beginner. To leave behind the menu that’s been handed down to us, with all of its rules and expectations, and feel our way.

be prepared

Wherever you choose to OM, remember to reserve the nest you create for OMing only. If you decide you’d like to have sex or even just spoon a little bit afterward, move to a different location or put the nest away first.

Sex can be so much more than we have come to believe. It can be a gateway to more connection, more vitality, and more sensation in all areas of our lives. All we have to do is explore it with the mind of a beginner. To leave behind the menu that’s been handed down to us, with all of its rules and expectations, and feel our way.

FIGHT OR FLIGHT