Sublime

trading the self-defined life for prescriptive balance.

In a world where the desires and ambitions of women are pathologized as a matter of course, the messages in this book may sound radical—they’re not. The opposite of radical, these are basic starting points: you’re already whole.

Perfectionism makes an excellent servant and a terrible master;

We buy into the admittedly alluring goal of balance because we believe two false promises. The first promise is that life is generally static.

intense perfectionists are effortlessly direct and transparent.

Observing that the people around you aren’t performing at the highest standard possible.

1. Think about people in your life you view as mentors, or role models, or whom you simply most admire. Which specific qualities of theirs come to mind? 2. Imagine one of your children—or a person to whom you are especially close—describing you to others. What are the qualities you’d hope he or she would cite?

Martha Stewart wears her perfectionism on her sleeve to roaring acclamation instead of being told to “be more balanced” (i.e., temper her powerful drive) because her interests stay within the realm of what is acceptable for women to be publicly ambitious about.

Messy perfectionists take over the world when they learn how to channel their enthusiasm into single, intentional missions they can execute in dynamic ways.