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The gold standard here is working for mutual understanding.
Bruce Patton • Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most
You Will Make Mistakes.
Bruce Patton • Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most

One thing you can make of it is that they are as imperfect as you are.
Bruce Patton • Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most
Step back and look at the problem from the perspective of a disinterested observer. Imagine that you are a consultant called in to help the people in this situation better understand why they are getting stuck. How would you describe, in a neutral, nonjudgmental way, what each person is contributing?
Bruce Patton • Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most
We are also grateful to Chris Argyris and to the partners of Action Design: Diana McLain Smith, Bob Putnam, and Phil McArthur. Their insights into the dilemmas of organizational life and interpersonal structures have proven invaluable to our understanding of conversations – how they go awry and how to put them back on course. A great many concepts
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