Sublime

Your Inner Critic

making your entrance—actually walking in to where the action is taking place.

Now is a good time to soak up the scene: Who’s here? How does the crowd feel? Are people having a good time or is there a lot of tension? Look around. Who seems approachable?

For people interested in learning more about the model, I recommend Kegan’s graduate student Jennifer Garvey Berger’s more recent and less academic book Changing on the Job.

Walk through the mall and just say hello to ten people as you pass them. As you cut through the parking lot into the grocery store, greet three other shoppers. Keep practicing until it feels natural.

Keep in mind that when someone responds to your comment or answers your question they usually give you more fodder for small talk.