Sublime

This book is for the rest of us seeking more than positions and techniques to once again find meaning in sex that has become meaningless.

And a common dynamic in therapists who have sex with a patient is the arousing, albeit self-serving, fantasy that their sexual attention is helping the patient’s self-esteem.

This aspect of sexuality can be aptly described as “ruthless.”

Consider the common situation in which a woman suppresses her own sexual longings in order to be the “good” wife and mother that she assumes her husband expects. Her guilty conviction is that she can’t be—and shouldn’t want to be—both a lustful woman and a responsible wife and mother. Her husband, however, experiences his “good” wife as asexual, in

With and without love, a casual sexuality was the norm for our prehistoric ancestors.

sexual promiscuity.

It is illuminating that after conventional sex therapy alleviates obstacles to sexual intercourse (e.g., erectile dysfunction; MacMahon, Smith & Shabsigh, 2006), patients still seem to maintain their low frequencies of sexual activity.

As our work proceeded, however, the secret behind Bob’s sexual inhibitions and fantasy life began to emerge. Bob admitted that, deep down, he felt that if a woman were to see the extent of his lust, she would be offended. She’d be offended by the fact that he was primarily turned on by her body and not her mind, that he wanted to fondle her, to sta