Sublime

Carly has self-observed on three levels of experience: somatic (tightness), emotion (anger), and cognitive (story about her strength and what she deserves). These represent three distinct yet interrelated elements of her reaction. Being able to observe these phenomena is the first step in familiarity and skill in working with the habit. Each level

In coaching, the story of how team members and clients became who they are is interesting but mostly extraneous. As coaches, our concern is that our clients learn to author their own stories. This begins with the competency of observing, at a moment-by-moment level, how they are shaped by their attachments and aversions.

At that point, where a secondary process appears, the client can choose, of course, whether she wants to become aware of it or not.

The facilitator stays close to his own felt experience of arising sensations in the body, thoughts, and emotions as he listens (not just with his ears but with his whole body), using these sensations as guideposts for the next question.

For leaders, this approach accesses a mind-set that includes a focus on both results (action) and on growth (learning).

I have always found inspiration in working closely with colleagues in the creative arts. Arawana Hayashi, for example, developed the body of work called Social Presencing Theater.19

I was using my talks as my own therapy.

Search: create openings through neural dissonance widen window of tolerance (and strengthen secure base) 3. Shift: seek alignment through neural resonance integrate learning (and enrich working model) 4. Sustain: reinforce new narrative through feedback build confidence in new action (and increase security)

Self-Observation and Realization • Share our present-moment observations