Sublime

The Passion Trap: How to Right an Unbalanced Relationship by relationship therapist and psychologist Dean C. Delis. This was given to me by a friend when I was on the tail end of a very difficult relationship, and it was utterly illuminating. The author examines the psychological forces behind human attraction and explains the most common drivers o

unconsciously relieved the fantasizer of the responsibility of making the woman happy, a

Most of us have no idea what kind of partner will fulfill us long term.

My belief, reinforced by twenty years of practice, is that in the course of establishing security, many couples confuse love with merging.

Making the best relationship one can with the worst parts of oneself.

But the Maze is a threat to all relationships, not just marriage, because it warps your view of people. When you’re in the Maze, you literally forget everything good about the other person—all you can think about is the wrong he’s committed.

Tamara wasn’t unique either. The theory explained her behaviors, thoughts, and reactions, typical for someone with an anxious attachment style, with surprising precision as well. It foresaw her increasing clinginess in the face of his distancing; it predicted her inability to concentrate at work, her constant thoughts about the relationship, and he

D Is for Depth of Processing

The goal is to use your intense emotional response to ferret out the hidden contours of your own desires.