Sublime

Culturally, I was yearning for someone who matched both my love for authentic Asian cuisine and also grew up going to bar mitzvahs and Passover dinners. It was always a struggle to find a partner who matched my passion for saving money, taking risks, and being engaged in anything that was challenging but ultimately worthwhile. Someone who had a hig

People like to praise Asian Americans as the model minority for their strong work ethic and good behavior. My Vietnamese mother did not give me either. But she made me cheap, tough, and salty, like a steak from Sizzler.

It made me realize that the most important part of parenting, relationships, pretty much anything—is just actually being there.

It was like watching a bad off-off-Broadway play where you’re the only one in the audience and both the lead characters are played by your old-ass parents.

It was really moving to experience being a foreigner in the country that your mother grew up in. And it’s empowering to be in a place where everyone looks like you. But I realized I kind of had that already at UCLA and in San Francisco. In San Francisco everyone looked even more like me and, ultimately, I missed my tribe.

My brother was kind of like a middle school boy and also like a freshman at UC Berkeley in the 1970s.

You have suffered enough. If you can make it easier, make it easier, and don’t feel guilty about it.