Sublime

vim

As a young boy he was recruited to be his mother’s emotional caretaker, and to alleviate her loneliness. He was her hope, her solace, a vicarious affirmation that her miserable life would be vindicated through her marvelous son. Children of such conflicted marriages are often enlisted to protect the vulnerable parent.

How did she know all of this? It must have been built in, that’s what I thought. When Orly came along and it was just me, I realized how she’d known. She’d fucking learned. She’d had to, because somebody had to keep the babies alive, and so she bloody well got on with it. And now I was going to have to do the same, except without any backup, and th

I learned the hallmarks of abusers when I was nine. Because of severe asthma and allergies, I also learned early on that even the best-intentioned doctors embark on treatment plans that can be uncomfortable. But it would be years before I realized how cleverly patterns of abuse could masquerade as sincerity, or how kindly they might be packaged.

May you not go around the world looking to fill what you fear you lack with the flesh of another human being. That’s part of what this story is for.