A character should never get exactly what they want or what they're trying to get in a scene.

Instead, they either SHOULD get what they want BUT it has some unexpected consequence.

Or they should NOT get what they want AND it should have some additional unexpected consequence.

1. It’s Good.


2. It Can be Better.

It’s a little trite, but try it out next time you’re feeling hard on yourself. If you’ve gotten some way into a creative project, the odds are it’s not terrible. It’s probably not where you want it to be or where you’ve imagined it can be, but it’s hopefully at least decent. And it can be better.

People who are stuck often ask themselves, What am I supposed to do next? That question often comes from a place of paying attention to your thoughts, not your body. You’re too busy being slammed by your feelings to read what they’re telling you.

But how do you pay attention to your body, how do you parse your feelings, how do you reach that sense ... See more

The thing I’ve learned over time is that friendships are not fungible—no two people are the same, obviously, but also you can’t replicate the experience of someone knowing you through a particular era of your life. You can never go back to that period of your life; you can never replace the people who witnessed you and supported you. To me, relinqu... See more

I heard someone say "don't cross oceans for people who wouldn't cross a puddle for you." Which I thought was good advice. But then someone else spoke up and said "No. Do it. Do cross oceans for people. Love all people. No conditions attached. No wondering whether or not they are worthy. Cross oceans, climb mountains. Life and love isn't about what ... See more

Girlhood is big business. The ones who are best at it literally treat it as an occupation, modeling or taking suitably candid-looking pictures of themselves, recommending clothes and jewelry and books, going viral on TikTok. They’re performing a way of being that looks joyful, effortless, and adorable. It’s a performance that by definition has a sh... See more

Just as someone with iron deficiency anemia craves ice (“pica”), I crave texture .

I yearn to feel the coarseness of sketch paper and the silky fibers of a floor rug more than ever before. I’m sitting at my laptop typing this essay, and what do I feel? I feel the base of my palm resting against the slight cold of my MacBook’s sturdy silver gray bas... See more

“I wish I could say you get used to people dying. I never did. I don't want to. It tears a hole through me whenever somebody I love dies, no matter the circumstances. But I don't want it to "not matter." I don't want it to be something that just passes.

“My scars are a testament to the love and the relationship that I had for and with that person. A

... See more

A big project of mine over the next year will be writing about cultural scripts and expectations in friendship. Friendship is vastly undertheorized as compared to romantic relationships, but they’re just as important: they affect our quality of life in the most fundamental ways. Friendship is an entry point to everything: work, romance, sense of se... See more