Renee De Four

Here is the answer to the question I asked in the first post. Agnes Martin discovered that painting was all she needed to be fulfilled in this life. I wonder at what age in life did she discover this? Was it an innate knowing or did she struggle?

I envy people like this who know what their “thing” is. I’m 30 years old and it frustrates me deeply that I don’t have a strong affiliation with one thing. Whether that’s writing, or reading, painting or playing an instrument. I’m starting to wonder if I need to try new things?

What I do enjoy - building workflows with digital tools, solving problems by creating systems does not feel like an artistic thing!

I can build and perfect a Notion or Tana workflow for hours until a solution is found but something feels like it’s missing. Maybe it’s because it’s not tangible like painting?

I don’t know but I think I need to pick up pottery - maybe that will be my thing.

Update 1/4/25 9:15 pm - This quote also reminds me of Hirayama from Perfect Days. He too discovered something far more precious than material accumulation.

Recent a-ha moment: I’m an expert at being myself. I’ve spent so much time searching for my “thing”, my craft to master. After all writers having writing, artists have drawing and painting, musicians have songwriting and learning their instrument - what do I have? I have me, my own unique blend of things. A Being to explore.

Maybe I don’t have one craft to master this time around. Maybe I just need to express me as authentically and unhindered as possible.