Anuradha Pandey
@radha
Anuradha Pandey
Female social control is justified by feminism
I was policed and abused by my mother until college. Outside the home, I was bullied by girls exclusively. In the past twenty years I’ve been socially exiled multiple times because I refused to conform to the women and girls around me. The rejection of soft control is read as hostility and betrayal, whe
... See moreBeing a woman and
Invisible, soft social control is the norm.
Female social control is soft, indirect, insidious, and corrosive. I know there are other women out there like me who see clearly but are generally deemed “too sensitive” or worse, paranoid. The uncomfortable pattern: women deploy soft, deniable control as a social strategy. This is a structural phenomenon
... See moreFemale socialization hinges on the denial of female bullying
When we say “believe women” it never seems to extend to believing female on female violence. And yes, I used that intentionally: women inflict psychological violence and then act like the victim if you react. Your expression of pain as the victim of said violence gets pathologized as aggre
... See moreMakeup is for other women
One of the more ridiculous lines in the feminist catechism is that women have the unfair burden of beauty expectations. No one is forcing me to do any of it. Social expectations to “look pretty” come from women (and Instagram culture). Anecdotally, I’ve seen plenty of evidence that men don’t care for the aesthetic performan
... See moreModern feminist sensibility is based on cognitive distortions depressed people have
What I once believed thanks to feminism and how it maps to cognitive distortions (yes, these messages are in the zeitgeist)
Others are responsible for my feelings: emotional reasoning and mind-reading.
I have no control over what happens to me: fortune telling, overgen
Women are not more cooperative than men
One reason for claiming women should get power is we are supposedly more cooperative and caring. Ask any woman like me if that’s true and you’ll probably get laughter in response. We’re not more cooperative, just more prone to groupthink because we value social harmony above truth thanks to average personality
... See moreAgreeableness and uncomfortable truth can’t coexist
Agreeableness, particularly in group settings, is a killer of truth. If the people in it are all mostly agreeable, then the overton window narrows beyond tolerance for discomfort. We need fewer agreeable people in the world, and especially for women to fight our socialization that came from other w
... See moreIf feminism is anything, every argument against it is valid.
A concept cannot be falsified if its definition constantly shifts. Feminism suffers from semantic slippage veering into incoherence. When I argue that it’s disempowering, someone inevitably says my definition of feminism isn’t true and constructs a straw man assuming I’m against women’s le
... See moreFemale aggression, competition, and social control mechanisms
Nathalie Martinek PhD shows how feminine aggression manifests as politely soft social control. As a woman who refuses to employ this, being on the receiving end of it makes me feel like I’m nuts. Because as soon as you name this is happening, YOU become the problem, as I have been many ti
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