panchi

to keep yourself close to what fuels the aliveness, what feels purposeful, and maybe even more simply: what you find interesting.

Dreams demand expression, the same as love, I think. You can’t negotiate with either, they just dismantle you.

or permission or a sense that your own desires are good, valid, and satiable.

I don’t mind starting over because it makes me feel like I’m getting closer to the truest expression of myself. In the same way, I don’t mind invisible effort because that’s how I know I exist apart from performance. It’s a blessing that every time I write, I grasp, as fresh and dewy as the first time I met you: the beauty, burden, bliss of... See more

Perhaps the sense of self you carry isn’t the heaviness of other people’s wishes or absorbed environmental desires, but the lightness of what interests or captivates you. Perhaps wherever you are you can still seek out those things. Perhaps we’re always starting over: burying our dreams and then digging them back up. Careening in and out of love.... See more