Mounica Veggalam

A good metaphor talks about something that’s familiar in a new way.

Differentiation occurs by maintaining yourself in the presence of important persons, not by getting away from them. The difference between running away and walking away after you’re “unhooked” is a critical distinction.

(Passionate Marriage pg 64)

The earliest tier, the preconventional, is rarely encountered in professional contexts as we expect these to be traversed in childhood and left behind as main modes of functioning. However, they reside as experiences in our memories and serve as fallback positions in times of extreme duress. At later stages, we also have access to them in more

Differentiation is the ability to stay in connection without being consumed by the other person.

The possibility of a self-transforming couple

Among those supports least studied and of which we are most in need of increased understanding are those supports which assist individuals and couples to evolve not only to that place where each can guarantee to the other his or her distinct identity, but which allow persons to share their identities as

The hidden risks of a Stage 4-Stage 3 (traditionally male-female) couple:

The institutional partner, that one can be so distinct as to be completely and irremediably alone; for the interpersonal partner, that one can be so close as to lose oneself unrecoverably-are held at bay by the assurance of the continued countervailing influence from the

“There world that we have made as a result of the level of thinking we have done thus far creates problems that we cannot solve at the same level we created them at”

Ambition comes in two forms, one that precedes interest in the subject and one that grows out of it. Most people who do great work have a mix, and the more you have of the former, the harder it will be to decide what to do.

How to do great work, PG

Differentiation is the ability to maintain your sense of self when you are emotionally and/or physically close to others— especially as they become increasingly important to you.

Differentiation permits you to maintain your own course when lovers, friends, and family pressure you to agree and con-form. Well-differentiated people can agree without