Megan

I'll just be over here swapping out all my gorgeous and fancy-scented soaps and lotions for deeply unsexy fragrance-free Dial and many other unscented, uninspiring products with labels that have phrases like "sensitive skin" and "for adult babies who might die from smelling a flower."

Phee glared at them. "If anyone tries to take bacon from me, I'm going to turn them into a tree. And not a good tree. A bad one, like a Bradford pear tree.' They stared at her.

She threw up her hands. "Have I taught you nothing? The Bradford pear tree has thorns and the flowers smell like tuna.

No one has ever said, oh gee, let me get a good, long sn... See more