kev

Now, when I shop, I try to look for things that will hold lots of memories. Not just from a cost-per-wear perspective, but because of the absolute satisfaction of watching a bag or a piece of clothing become not just something you wear or use but part of your identity, a part of your life. I got kissed in this dress. Okay. I got kissed in this dress about 400 times. Well, now we’re talking. Just like each couple has their own unique lore (we met online, and then chatted for 365 days straight before meeting…) the objects we love most develop their own mythology.

But Haidt also spends a fair amount of the book exploring a comprehensive moral matrix (fascinating) along with the need for the divine—or specifically, a need to belong to something bigger than ourselves, balanced by a hunger for awe. He spends a fair number of pages exploring (and gently denouncing) the New Atheist movement for (willfully) misunderstanding the role of religion in peoples’ lives—he points out that people are motivated to show up for each other not because of shared beliefs but because of belonging. Absent something to belong to, we are adrift.

In my past experiences publishing, I sought public success assuming it would lead to feelings of private satisfaction. It’s only now, observing this expectation clearly for the first time, that I can see how misguided this was.

In this experiment I took the agency and time to define success. It wasn't an open-ended search for approval. The goal was to express an idea, its full context, and for them to be seen and understood. That has happened, adding up to maybe the most enjoyable publishing experience of my writing life to date. Those 250 collectors satisfied my entire Maslow’s hierarchy of writerly needs with their support.