kaykay

Security is fundamentally about being able to hold and stay in the tension of uncertainty without compulsively resolving it or dispelling it.

It also touches on the Mandela Effect, ie. many people recalling the same event that never happened, or remembering details that don't reflect reality. Some people see the Mandela Effect as a form of glitched cultural deja vu, while others think it's just common misinterpretation, like mishearing lyrics to a popular song.

We might ‘dissociate’ and do the opposite: we check out, numb ourselves, engage in escapism, or fixate harder on connecting with others. In a state of dissociation, it is hard to advocate for our needs, our boundaries, and our limits. In addition, many of us have excellent auto-pilot functions and masking skills for when we dissociate, which can... See more

What we often think of as needs are actually strategies for addressing our needs. For example, you might want a cup of coffee in the morning. That’s not a need (much as it might feel like it is!). The need might be to feel more alert. Or to warm up. Or to engage in a shared social activity with a loved one in the kitchen. The cup of coffee is a... See more

While those sorts of reactions might feel like the right things to do at the time, they don’t really help: instead of feeling better, we will likely feel even worse. Our whole body might be filled with even more uncomfortable sensations: those are the “second darts” we create, which we then react to even more, by which discomfort or physical pain... See more