kaykay

While those sorts of reactions might feel like the right things to do at the time, they don’t really help: instead of feeling better, we will likely feel even worse. Our whole body might be filled with even more uncomfortable sensations: those are the “second darts” we create, which we then react to even more, by which discomfort or physical pain... See more

As a political theorist, hooks believed fiercely in the power of naming systems—her recurring phrase, in defining what we are up against, was “white supremacist capitalist patriarchy.”5 But she was far more ambivalent about the impulse to attach identity signifiers to our beings, to brand ourselves as a this, or a that. In her landmark 1984 book,

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To keep critical feedback in the first category, the research tells us that it should have five elements: the care of the recipient in mind; respectful delivery; good intentions; a pathway to improvement; and appropriate targeting of the recipient’s needs.

An important distinction to make, therefore, is the difference between a fetter and a behavior which indicates we have that fetter. For example, craving itself is not a fetter; it is merely a symptom of being fettered by desire. While we and those around us might tend to notice behaviors and consider those to be fetters, the actual fetter is the... See more

Movies are about romance. Novels are about adultery. This is the stuff that falls between, the stuff we never mention, the stuff we call life and forget.