Eric Rothman
@ericmsandwich
Filmmaker, editor, animator, stationary bicycle rider, sandwich enthusiast. My work has won very few awards. I currently reside in Dayton, Ohio.
Eric Rothman
newhappystar.com
This is so valuable. As someone who grew up in a semi-vacuum of healthy conflict modeling, my adult life has been trial and error in this area, and so it’s just wildly helpful to see other people working on their relationships. I find myself measuring my own progress against the couples in the show in a way that’s clarifying. For example, this one woman is so clearly trapped inside of her own story that she can’t even see how she’s in her own way about it—and I think I was that way once, and seeing it, I can see that I’ve moved past that, and that articulation is useful in understanding myself. And then this other guy extends such thought and care to his partner that it stuns you that people can be that good and caring and that gives you something to aspire to. It also helps you appreciate that there are so many different kinds of people, with different and completely valid life experiences. The slow depth of the show helps you move past whatever initial biases you might bring such that you can genuinely appreciate people that are different from you. It’s also heartwarming to see progress, and heartbreaking to see things fall apart. Such drama. You really grow to love, empathize, be frustrated by these people over the course of a season.
Something else happens in a world of superabundance, and an attention economy. Because you can’t find what you want, you start to dig yourself into very specific niches, and join sub-groups. Everyone atomizes into millions of groups connected by very specific interests. In more benign ways, it can be great – you find your fellow travelers, and I... See more
Ten (Big) Trends
Reminds me of Yuval Noah Harari’s, Sapiens, and his thesis about shared stories. Has the story of America been fractured into thousands of competing ones?
Also, I love the last sentence here, “…because you read this newsletter I’ve got your attention and we are a tiny polarized sub-group who know something others don’t, right?!” Phew, if that ain’t what makes a good newsletter!
RS just puts it better. I like to listen to this from time to time to remember what conscious life actually is and how change works.
I don’t know if I can say that I love all of David Lynch’s films, but I love him as an artist. He doesn’t accept “this is just the way things are done.” By default, life pushes you around, and to work the way you want to work, you need to ask for it. Sometimes you will forget to do this, but this clip of David Lynch being upset will remind you, and you’ll ask for what you need and the world will open up to you a little.
Make friends. It is dangerous to go alone. You heal yourself by helping others. Be kind and serve others. We can do more together than we can do alone.
Find out how you are fucked up. “They fuck you up your mom and dad, they don’t mean to but they do…” You inherited all sorts of bullshit that you don’t even know.
Own your shit and fix it. You will... See more
Find out how you are fucked up. “They fuck you up your mom and dad, they don’t mean to but they do…” You inherited all sorts of bullshit that you don’t even know.
Own your shit and fix it. You will... See more
Everyone wants to know how to be liked. But I think we all know, actually, how to be liked, it’s just that it’s hard. It takes attention and openness, and the confidence to present your character like it’s a fun mask you’re wearing rather than a lesson you’re desperate to teach someone. If you have that, it’s simple: when people put energy into... See more
Sasha Chapin • What the humans like is responsiveness - by Sasha Chapin What the humans like is responsiveness
Then I had another thought: Physics disgusts me a little bit now, but I used to enjoy doing physics. Why did I enjoy it? I used to play with it. I used to do whatever I felt like doing - it didn't have to do with whether it was important for the development of nuclear physics, but whether it was interesting and amusing for me to play with. When I
... See more
A story of culture and norms overriding the default urge to find blame.
“…the primary purpose of an aircraft accident investigation is to prevent future accidents — a decision that implicitly privileged prevention above the search for liability. Conducting a police-style investigation that faults a deceased pilot does nothing to affect the probability of future accidents.”