what even is perfectionism??

boy, this single word sure does mean a lot of things to a lot of people, huh?

How many dreams are abandoned for fear of looking stupid in the eyes of those who never think about us at all

Dylan O'Sullivan • Dylan O'Sullivan on Substack

If there is such a thing as human perfection, it seems to emerge precisely from how we handle the imperfection that is everywhere, especially our own. – Richard Rohr

Perfectionism is, at its core, about trying to earn approval. Most perfectionists grew up being praised for achievement and performance (grades, manners, rule following, people pleasing, appearance, sports). Somewhere along the way, they adopted this dangerous and debilitating belief system: I am what I accomplish and how well I accomplish it.

Brené Brown • Dare to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts.

life is coming from you, not at you

blue • Tweet

That moment when you realize your perfectionism isn't really about excellence - it's about control.

If I can just make this thing perfect enough, I can control how people respond to it, how I feel about myself, what happens next.

But perfectionism actually prevents the very thing it promises: the satisfaction of creating something real and letting... See more

Su • Tweet

If you’re a perfectionist, you want more of something. What is it? Why do you want that? How do you imagine getting what you want will make you feel? Perfectionism invites a deep, unending exploration of who you are and what you most desire from this life.

Katherine Morgan Schafler • The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control

Dear Future Self,

I'm no longer trying to become you.

Not because I've given up,

But because I finally understand:

You emerge from how gently I hold this moment,

Not from how fiercely I chase the next one.

Su 🚀 • Tweet

Perfectionism is easy to see on someone. Physically it is a rigidity in the musculature and there can be stunted tones in the voice. Mentally they are often second-guessing themselves, hesitant, and overly precise.

Joe Hudson • Tweet

Perfection is a paradox—you can never become perfect, and you already are perfect. A perfectionist in an adaptive mindset believes both those statements are true. A perfectionist in a maladaptive mindset believes both those statements are false.