I stopped writing years ago. It scared me. I was always full of doubts. It filled my mind with fear. I never thought I was good enough to state my thoughts. It was a huge dilemma to yearn for writing, but never allow yourself to do so. I don’t think I can let my anxieties take over my sanity much longer.

Tonight, I want to write. I will allow myself to write because its finally time. I will allow myself to learn amidst the terror that towers me. I will allow myself to be vulnerable and raw, despite the chances of still falling short.

I don’t think I’ve properly processed anything in the past couple of years. I just graduated from university and I think today is the best time to take a trip down memory lane and remember the highlights, struggles, relationships, friendships, and learnings I’ve experienced during my transition to adulthood—from my last year of high school to finally graduating from university.

My therapists knew that I was never good at handling big changes, but who was? After all, most adults don’t really know what they’re doing. So, as I try to figure things out, I shall comeback to what might be my teenage-first-love: writing. I’m not going to be afraid anymore. May my recaps bless me and help me figure out what was dead from my past that should be alive in my future.

All I can do is hope. I will never forget what our professor told one of my dearest friends, “you should have emotional distance…” and maybe in my own context—it means that there should be emotional distance from my past to live in my present and move forward in my future.

To living in the present through our writing☆