hello nehal i hope you’ve been well

i heard that you feel that we’ve grown apart because i haven’t been putting effort into our friendship since i left scs & that you feel that our friendship “doesn’t serve you” anymore & i just wanted to address it with you bc our friendship is something that i cared deeply about.

firstly, i completely respect your feelings & i’m sorry it seems like i haven’t been putting in effort since i left, but my from my side it honestly feels like the complete opposite. i understand that you were really going through it in matric & that you had a whole bunch of stuff going on that i can’t even begin to imagine, but i tried incredibly hard to be there for you as best as i could & to contact you in every way i could think of, even going as far as to contact liam when i couldn’t get hold of you, so i’m a bit confused as to what you meant when you said i hadn’t been putting in effort. also i felt like there have been many times over the past year i tried to reach out & speak to you & it always seemed as if you’ve been too busy to reply.

secondly, most of our conversations & interactions over the past year have felt incredibly one-sided & that you only know things about my life because you happen to check my location, not because you’ve actually asked.

thirdly, i know this happened a while ago so you might not even remember, but i just wanna address a couple of the things that happened when i came to campus with zoë back in march. i get that some of the stuff you were saying about khayelitsha & langa were meant to be just jokes, but it felt a bit like you were trying to denigrate me in front of other people, & like you were trying to make some commentary about privilege when in actuality, making comments like that about areas that you yourself have never been to just seems very in-genuine.

fourthly, i understand growing apart in a friendship, but to say that our friendship simply “doesn’t serve” you anymore & to characterise me simply as another scs girl who treated you badly is hurtful beyond words because i genuinely thought so much more of our friendship. again it’s completely fine to grow apart, but all i’m asking is that you’re honest with yourself about the reasons that this has happened, bc putting the blame on me & my alleged “distance” is not truthful & overall unfair.

i’m not saying any of this to add any stress on to you & im sorry if this seems a bit random, but i thought it would be better to let you know how i’ve been feeling. as always, i still care about you a lot & i’ll always be glad to hear from you, wishing you the best as always.