presence

The result of having your day punctuated by these notifications is that your attention is constantly intercutting between the real world and the virtual one, so that your life becomes a book in a windstorm just like your feed.

This creates problems of its own. Continually dividing your attention between two worlds means you can never fully settle in... See more

The power of new experiences to stick in our memory would explain why studies have consistently found evidence for the oddball effect, a phenomenon where a surprising stimulus presented among predictable stimuli is perceived to last longer. Recent research has found that the stimulus that immediately follows the surprising stimulus is also... See more

Slowing time begins with refusing these ersatz experiences, for only the real thing is weighty enough to anchor itself in memory. Fortunately, there are simple ways to experience authentic salience.

For instance, when faced with a choice of experiences, choose the option that’s most likely to lead to a good story. Read books instead of scrolling... See more

The opposite of a maze is a route, and a route through time is a story. This is because stories are linear and syntagmatic — each moment of the tale semantically follows from the previous — and this collective meaningfulness anchors the whole thing in memory. This is why studies have consistently found that people are much better at memorising... See more

But what explains this “Lethe effect”? Theoretically, a social media feed should heighten awareness and memory, and dilate time, because it selects for content that’s exciting, outrageous, and scary. And yet we seldom remember such content. The reason for this discrepancy is simple: when every post is alarming, your brain quickly becomes... See more

Sometimes an experience can seem brief in the moment but long in memory, and vice versa. A classic example is the “holiday paradox”: while on vacation, time speeds by because you’re so overwhelmed by new experiences that you don’t keep track of time. But when you return from your vacation, it suddenly feels longer in retrospect, because you made... See more

Generally, an event feels longer in the moment if it heightens awareness. But we seldom think of time in the moment; the majority of our sense of time is retrospective. And our sense of retrospective time is determined by awareness of the past: in other words, by memory. The more we remember of a certain period, the longer that period feels, and... See more

we talk so much about “becoming,” but the real work is learning to recognize the moments when you’ve already become — even temporarily.

sometimes, when i’m sitting on the floor with zay, surrounded by half-eaten snacks and dog toys, i’ll catch this fleeting wave of awareness. it’s not epiphany-level or dramatic — just a small tug that says: you’ll miss this someday. and every time, it feels like a small act of rebellion against the culture of striving. to stop, to look around, to... See more