non-coercion
let go of “should”
intrinsic motivation
non-coercion
When I work with people navigating depression, here is the common pattern: They’re constantly beating themselves up.
“I should go outside.”
“I should work harder.”
“I shouldn't be depressed.”
"Shoulds" are anger directed inwards at yourself, which is why... See more
Joe Hudsonx.comthread
4/ You follow what you think you SHOULD do rather than what you want to do
But when someone tries to force you to do something, your nature is to resist.
This is true even when you try to force yourself with “shoulds” and “have tos.”
Joe Hudsonx.comLet go of the 'shoulds.' Life is full of 'shoulds' - you should go to that event, you should answer that text, you should do the laundry, etc., but at the end of the day, they are 'cans' and you determine if and when you act.
For most of my life, my decisions were driven by invisible shoulds which manifested as ambivalence. It’s not that I felt like I had no agency over my life, but I often felt indecisive at the trailhead of a big decision. I simply did not know myself well enough to make informed decisions on my own behalf. When I found myself at crossroads, it was... See more
Cissy Hu • A lifetime of should-ing
interesting discussion in the comments with Sasha Chapin
The Replacing Guilt series
mindingourway.com
Letting go of shoulds opens up the insight that there is nothing we HAVE to do in this life as long as we are willing to face the consequences of not doing it.
You don’t have to pay the bills, but you risk eviction. You don’t have to spend time with your spouse, but your relationship may deteriorate. You don’t have to exercise or eat healthy, but... See more
You don’t have to pay the bills, but you risk eviction. You don’t have to spend time with your spouse, but your relationship may deteriorate. You don’t have to exercise or eat healthy, but... See more
