non-coercion
let go of “should”
intrinsic motivation
non-coercion
turns out if you let yourself want what you want*, everything is amazing
(* instead of supposed-tos, shoulds, “if I were a good person, I’d…”s, rules, everybody else’s opinion, what’s ‘sane’, what’s ‘reasonable’, what you have worked out intellectually, etc.)
🙃 ɐʇǝɯ-Lulie 💜x.comFor most of my life, my decisions were driven by invisible shoulds which manifested as ambivalence. It’s not that I felt like I had no agency over my life, but I often felt indecisive at the trailhead of a big decision. I simply did not know myself well enough to make informed decisions on my own behalf. When I found myself at crossroads, it was... See more
Cissy Hu • A lifetime of should-ing
mel is spot-on. a critical part of reaching this stage of self-development and joyful discipline is truly, truly understanding what you actually like and what you actually value. there is often a chasm between our authentic self and our lived self
✨ let’s talk a little about how to close that gap ✨... See more
Leaf (Rock) (5.2k/175k words)x.com
We are told that to live a good life, we must earn it.
So many of us have been taught to chase perfection our whole lives
- We should work harder
- We should manage ourselves better
- We should improve to become our highest selves
But... See more
Joe Hudsonx.com4/ You follow what you think you SHOULD do rather than what you want to do
But when someone tries to force you to do something, your nature is to resist.
This is true even when you try to force yourself with “shoulds” and “have tos.”
Joe Hudsonx.comAnd, fundamentally, a critical attitude towards the current situation is detrimental to collectedness—it’s much easier to focus when you accept your current thoughts and emotions. Thus the most powerful meditation prompt I’ve ever heard, from Loch Kelly: “What is here now if there's no problem to solve?”
Sasha Chapin • What I Wish Someone Had Told Me About Starting a Meditation Practice
Before you begin meditating, it’s really helpful to adopt a permissive attitude towards your current state: however I am right now, it is fine. I like reminding myself that I don’t need to do anything to receive sensation—the universe will keep on being the universe, and interesting data will come to me, I don’t have to force anything. This can... See more
Sasha Chapin • What I Wish Someone Had Told Me About Starting a Meditation Practice
Non-self-coercion basically says “just do what you intrinsically want to do”. That might sound very simple, but it actually isn’t, because in today’s world of overchoice and social competition it becomes evermore difficult for an individual to understand what they actually intrinsically want to do.