non-coercion
let go of “should”
intrinsic motivation
non-coercion
A term I saw on Twitter is “self-coercion.” I assume this means any time you make yourself do something you don’t want to do - the teeth gritted, white knuckle approach.
It would be extremely childish to imagine it was never necessary to do this. Sometimes we have to buckle down and do things which we would rather not.
BUT it should not be your... See more
It would be extremely childish to imagine it was never necessary to do this. Sometimes we have to buckle down and do things which we would rather not.
BUT it should not be your... See more
Self Discipline for Screwups
Everywhere we go, people are telling us what we should want and do. Bigger muscles. Less fat. Run a marathon. Deadlift 400 pounds. Lose 30 lbs in 30 days with this secret program. All this noise makes exploring our own desires more challenging.
Sam Sager • Exploring Our Why
Letting go of shoulds opens up the insight that there is nothing we HAVE to do in this life as long as we are willing to face the consequences of not doing it.
You don’t have to pay the bills, but you risk eviction. You don’t have to spend time with your spouse, but your relationship may deteriorate. You don’t have to exercise or eat healthy, but... See more
You don’t have to pay the bills, but you risk eviction. You don’t have to spend time with your spouse, but your relationship may deteriorate. You don’t have to exercise or eat healthy, but... See more
What's Most Alive for You Right Now?
mel is spot-on. a critical part of reaching this stage of self-development and joyful discipline is truly, truly understanding what you actually like and what you actually value. there is often a chasm between our authentic self and our lived self
✨ let’s talk a little about how to close that gap ✨... See more
Leaf (Rock) (5.2k/175k words)x.comFor most of my life, my decisions were driven by invisible shoulds which manifested as ambivalence. It’s not that I felt like I had no agency over my life, but I often felt indecisive at the trailhead of a big decision. I simply did not know myself well enough to make informed decisions on my own behalf. When I found myself at crossroads, it was... See more
Cissy Hu • A lifetime of should-ing
if you're one of the people who has removed most "should"s from their life, you may reintroduce them once the central source of truth in your life is your own soul.
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