non-coercion
let go of “should”
intrinsic motivation
non-coercion
For most of my life, my decisions were driven by invisible shoulds which manifested as ambivalence. It’s not that I felt like I had no agency over my life, but I often felt indecisive at the trailhead of a big decision. I simply did not know myself well enough to make informed decisions on my own behalf. When I found myself at crossroads, it was... See more
Cissy Hu • A lifetime of should-ing
When I work with people navigating depression, here is the common pattern: They’re constantly beating themselves up.
“I should go outside.”
“I should work harder.”
“I shouldn't be depressed.”
"Shoulds" are anger directed inwards at yourself, which is why... See more
Joe Hudsonx.comthread
Everywhere we go, people are telling us what we should want and do. Bigger muscles. Less fat. Run a marathon. Deadlift 400 pounds. Lose 30 lbs in 30 days with this secret program. All this noise makes exploring our own desires more challenging.
Sam Sager • Exploring Our Why
And, fundamentally, a critical attitude towards the current situation is detrimental to collectedness—it’s much easier to focus when you accept your current thoughts and emotions. Thus the most powerful meditation prompt I’ve ever heard, from Loch Kelly: “What is here now if there's no problem to solve?”
Sasha Chapin • What I Wish Someone Had Told Me About Starting a Meditation Practice
The Replacing Guilt series
mindingourway.com