non-coercion
let go of “should”
intrinsic motivation
non-coercion
When I work with people navigating depression, here is the common pattern: They’re constantly beating themselves up.
“I should go outside.”
“I should work harder.”
“I shouldn't be depressed.”
"Shoulds" are anger directed inwards at yourself, which is why... See more
Joe Hudsonx.comthread
Non-self-coercion is therefore all about self-awareness and -acknowledgment and consequently locking in life goals and hobbies that are driven by pleasure rather than pain.
Thomas Klaffke • Pleasure Activism
mel is spot-on. a critical part of reaching this stage of self-development and joyful discipline is truly, truly understanding what you actually like and what you actually value. there is often a chasm between our authentic self and our lived self
✨ let’s talk a little about how to close that gap ✨... See more
Leaf (Rock) (5.2k/175k words)x.comEverywhere we go, people are telling us what we should want and do. Bigger muscles. Less fat. Run a marathon. Deadlift 400 pounds. Lose 30 lbs in 30 days with this secret program. All this noise makes exploring our own desires more challenging.
Sam Sager • Exploring Our Why
We are told that to live a good life, we must earn it.
So many of us have been taught to chase perfection our whole lives
- We should work harder
- We should manage ourselves better
- We should improve to become our highest selves
But... See more
Joe Hudsonx.com
So rather than view it as a choice between intrinsic or extrinsic motivation, embrace both. Cultivate intrinsic motivation to create a constant source of fuel that doesn’t wane. Embrace goals or desires as they emerge to increase motivation and accelerate action. Just continue to look within for guidance on what you actually want.
Sam Sager • Exploring Our Why
And, fundamentally, a critical attitude towards the current situation is detrimental to collectedness—it’s much easier to focus when you accept your current thoughts and emotions. Thus the most powerful meditation prompt I’ve ever heard, from Loch Kelly: “What is here now if there's no problem to solve?”