non-coercion
let go of “should”
intrinsic motivation
non-coercion
Let go of the 'shoulds.' Life is full of 'shoulds' - you should go to that event, you should answer that text, you should do the laundry, etc., but at the end of the day, they are 'cans' and you determine if and when you act.
A term I saw on Twitter is “self-coercion.” I assume this means any time you make yourself do something you don’t want to do - the teeth gritted, white knuckle approach.
It would be extremely childish to imagine it was never necessary to do this. Sometimes we have to buckle down and do things which we would rather not.
BUT it should not be your prima... See more
It would be extremely childish to imagine it was never necessary to do this. Sometimes we have to buckle down and do things which we would rather not.
BUT it should not be your prima... See more
Self Discipline for Screwups
mel is spot-on. a critical part of reaching this stage of self-development and joyful discipline is truly, truly understanding what you actually like and what you actually value. there is often a chasm between our authentic self and our lived self
✨ let’s talk a little about how to close that gap ✨
knowing yourself is the first step, imo, to act... See more
We are told that to live a good life, we must earn it.
So many of us have been taught to chase perfection our whole lives
- We should work harder
- We should manage ourselves better
- We should improve to become our highest selves
But the problem with "shoulds" is...
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Everywhere we go, people are telling us what we should want and do. Bigger muscles. Less fat. Run a marathon. Deadlift 400 pounds. Lose 30 lbs in 30 days with this secret program. All this noise makes exploring our own desires more challenging.
Sam Sager • Exploring Our Why
The most sustainable and potent motivation is experiencing joy and curiosity within an activity. Cultivate joy for exercise and fascination with fitness to remove the need for constant external motivation.
Sam Sager • Exploring Our Why
Non-self-coercion is therefore all about self-awareness and -acknowledgment and consequently locking in life goals and hobbies that are driven by pleasure rather than pain.
Thomas Klaffke • Pleasure Activism
So rather than view it as a choice between intrinsic or extrinsic motivation, embrace both. Cultivate intrinsic motivation to create a constant source of fuel that doesn’t wane. Embrace goals or desires as they emerge to increase motivation and accelerate action. Just continue to look within for guidance on what you actually want.