non-coercion
let go of “should”
intrinsic motivation
non-coercion
For most of my life, my decisions were driven by invisible shoulds which manifested as ambivalence. It’s not that I felt like I had no agency over my life, but I often felt indecisive at the trailhead of a big decision. I simply did not know myself well enough to make informed decisions on my own behalf. When I found myself at crossroads, it was... See more
Cissy Hu • A lifetime of should-ing
When I work with people navigating depression, here is the common pattern: They’re constantly beating themselves up.
“I should go outside.”
“I should work harder.”
“I shouldn't be depressed.”
"Shoulds" are anger directed inwards at yourself, which is why... See more
Joe Hudsonx.comthread
mel is spot-on. a critical part of reaching this stage of self-development and joyful discipline is truly, truly understanding what you actually like and what you actually value. there is often a chasm between our authentic self and our lived self
✨ let’s talk a little about how to close that gap ✨... See more
Leaf (Rock) (5.2k/175k words)x.comAnd, fundamentally, a critical attitude towards the current situation is detrimental to collectedness—it’s much easier to focus when you accept your current thoughts and emotions. Thus the most powerful meditation prompt I’ve ever heard, from Loch Kelly: “What is here now if there's no problem to solve?”
Sasha Chapin • What I Wish Someone Had Told Me About Starting a Meditation Practice
Let go of the 'shoulds.' Life is full of 'shoulds' - you should go to that event, you should answer that text, you should do the laundry, etc., but at the end of the day, they are 'cans' and you determine if and when you act.
4/ You follow what you think you SHOULD do rather than what you want to do
But when someone tries to force you to do something, your nature is to resist.
This is true even when you try to force yourself with “shoulds” and “have tos.”
Joe Hudsonx.com