Making others feel seen

Many people who are talented in their various fields have access to insight they can’t share with others. They simply see something we can’t. They try to describe it—picture any Paris Review interview—and often hearing them talk about their process is interesting and informative. But they’re unable to describe the core thing—what gives them the... See more

What I’m in search of is maybe hard to explain in a neat sentence, but, maybe, it’s some sense of resonance. You know when you’re reading and you’re like “Oh, this person is saying this thing I’ve been thinking or feeling forever, but didn’t know how to express in words?” That’s a beautiful feeling when you can see yourself more clearly through... See more

Men share a joke that stretches over decades, held together by ritual and repetition, by silence and shoulder nudges, by the unspoken agreement that affection must be disarmed before it can be displayed. Their love is less novel and more architecture: a shed built in bad weather, no blueprint, just nails and instinct. Women draft essays in real... See more

It’s narcissism, sure. But also curiosity. The right person makes you want to know yourself better. And then, paradoxically, forget yourself entirel

I guess what I want most is to be a good tool or vessel for the few things I do understand and believe in. Something about that feels both urgent and meaningful.

you can see that the truly charming people don’t draw you in by dazzling or blinding you with their looks, money, achievement — they do it by stripping away your pressure to perform, laying a blanket of ease with your humanity with humor, honesty, or untethered simplicity