Just Say No

Here are four areas where I am focusing my nos (and they are also messily interrelated): No to obligations—not saying yes to things out of guilt or shame. No to (the need for) confirmations—not needing approval for every decision. No to distractions—not allowing my attention to get hijacked by the priorities of others. No to compulsions—not allowin

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Every time you say no to someone else you are also saying yes to yourself. Eventually you'll find that there is no difference between sharing or receiving a yes or a no; they are both simply responses that you can give or receive openheartedly. It doesn't mean that you want to say no necessarily, because you love your partner and want them to be ha

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The Power of a Positive No describes how to say No when it is vital to stand up and protect your core interests and values. It is not just about how to say No, however, but about how to do so in a respectful and constructive manner that can potentially lead to agreement. As its subtitle indicates, it is about how to say No and still get to Yes.

Author Grace Bonney on how to get better at saying no:

“The biggest fear most of us have with learning to say no is that we will miss an opportunity. An opportunity that would have catapulted us to success, or that will never come again. And most of the time, that simply isn’t true.

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I’ve found that the first part of learning to say no is learning to... See more

Saying no doesn't mean you'll never do anything interesting or innovative or spontaneous. It just means that you say yes in a focused way. Once you have knocked out the distractions, it can make sense to say yes to any opportunity that could potentially move you in the right direction. You may have to try many things to discover what works and what... See more

Saying that you don’t have time for something is really just another way of saying it’s not important. When we make time for work and little else, what we’re saying is that our health, our bodies, our partners, our families, our happiness, our creativity are not important.

Saying no is sometimes seen as a luxury that only those in power can afford. And it is true: turning down opportunities is easier when you can fall back on the safety net provided by power, money, and authority. But it is also true that saying no is not merely a privilege reserved for the successful among us. It is also a strategy that can help you... See more

Saying “no” to new duties ensures that your current ones aren’t neglected, and that the people who deserve your time most aren’t cheated out of it; in essence, it’s saying “yes” to your present responsibilities and your loved ones. Furthermore, it’s also saying “yes” to yourself: scheduling a little “me time” is essential to your personal developme

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