Just Say No
A friend asked a Busy Guy to lead a project, and instead of saying yes or rejecting it, the Busy Guy said: “I can’t commit to that, but I can commit to thinking about it, and if I come up with something I’m excited about, I’ll do it.”
Such tact in that answer.
-DP
Here are four areas where I am focusing my nos (and they are also messily interrelated): No to obligations—not saying yes to things out of guilt or shame. No to (the need for) confirmations—not needing approval for every decision. No to distractions—not allowing my attention to get hijacked by the priorities of others. No to compulsions—not allowin
... See moreSebene Selassie • You Belong: A Call for Connection
Every time you say no to someone else you are also saying yes to yourself. Eventually you'll find that there is no difference between sharing or receiving a yes or a no; they are both simply responses that you can give or receive openheartedly. It doesn't mean that you want to say no necessarily, because you love your partner and want them to be ha
... See moreHeatherAsh Amara • The Seven Secrets to Healthy, Happy Relationships (Toltec Wisdom Series)
The Power of a Positive No describes how to say No when it is vital to stand up and protect your core interests and values. It is not just about how to say No, however, but about how to do so in a respectful and constructive manner that can potentially lead to agreement. As its subtitle indicates, it is about how to say No and still get to Yes.
William Ury • Getting Past No: Negotiating in Difficult Situations
Author Grace Bonney on how to get better at saying no:
“The biggest fear most of us have with learning to say no is that we will miss an opportunity. An opportunity that would have catapulted us to success, or that will never come again. And most of the time, that simply isn’t true.
I’ve found that the first part of learning to say no is learning to... See more
“The biggest fear most of us have with learning to say no is that we will miss an opportunity. An opportunity that would have catapulted us to success, or that will never come again. And most of the time, that simply isn’t true.
I’ve found that the first part of learning to say no is learning to... See more
jamesclear.com • 3-2-1: On Mentors, Margin of Safety, and How to Say No | James Clear
“Do not confuse "duty" with what other people expect of you; they are utterly different. Duty is a debt you owe to yourself to fulfill obligations you have assumed voluntarily. Paying that debt can entail anything from years of patient work to instant willingness to die. Difficult it may be, but the reward is self-respect.
But there is no reward at
... See moreSaying no doesn't mean you'll never do anything interesting or innovative or spontaneous. It just means that you say yes in a focused way. Once you have knocked out the distractions, it can make sense to say yes to any opportunity that could potentially move you in the right direction. You may have to try many things to discover what works and what... See more
James Clear • The Ultimate Productivity Hack is Saying No
Saying that you don’t have time for something is really just another way of saying it’s not important. When we make time for work and little else, what we’re saying is that our health, our bodies, our partners, our families, our happiness, our creativity are not important.
Jocelyn Glei • Confessions of a Burnt Out Over-Achiever
Saying no is sometimes seen as a luxury that only those in power can afford. And it is true: turning down opportunities is easier when you can fall back on the safety net provided by power, money, and authority. But it is also true that saying no is not merely a privilege reserved for the successful among us. It is also a strategy that can help you... See more