heavyness - intense

None were chasing intensity for its own sake. Their vitality came from alignment, a coherence between values and actions, body and tempo, self and world. Being around them taught me that aliveness hums most clearly in those whose inner frequency matches the life they’ve built, where what they love and what they do finally begin to rhyme.

“I wanted to eat life by the mouthful, to devour it, to be swallowed up in its dizzying vertigo, to be both actor and spectator, to possess and be possessed, to discover and to create, to make of my life a work of art.” — Simone de Beauvoir, Memoirs of a Dutiful Daughter (1958)

the instinct is the same: to push it all away, to deny it, to pretend that it didn’t happen, hoping that somehow, things will go back to the way they were. But pretending doesn’t soothe the grief. It only isolates you inside it.

Lust is the deceiver. Lust wrenches our lives until nothing matters except the one we think we love, and under that deceptive spell we kill for them, give all for them, and then, when we have what we have wanted, we discover that it is all an illusion and nothing is there. Lust is a voyage to nowhere, to an empty land, but some men just love such

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Royal Heart

You will never be let down by anyone

more than you will be let down

by the one you love most in the world

it’s how gravity works

it’s why they call it “falling”

it’s why the truth is harder to tell

every year

you have more to lose

but you can choose to bury your past

in the garden

beside the tulips

water it

until it’s so alive

it lets go

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