Improving Relationships

the depth of a conversation depends on how deeply seen you feel, not on the topic of conversation

1/ Boundaries are not saying no. Or making sure something doesn't happen. Or distancing. Or even letting yourself have wants in the face of others'. A boundary is simply "If you do X, I will do Y." Good boundaries: - don't require anything from the other person - are kind for the other person - bring you closer emotionally (i.e. you find the per... See more

You’ve been duped into thinking you can create a life without danger, one liberated from constraints and uncomfortable emotions, and that such a life is desirable. But you can’t, and it’s not. If you connect with someone and it comes with the risk of losing something, good. You’re alive!

if you stand firmly on a self-lain foundation of patience and trust, someone crossing your boundaries is not so threatening. let them in. see what they do in your space. remove yourself if necessary.

Imagine how much relationships would change if people went into one thinking “how can I make this person’s life better” instead of “how can this person make my life better”

A sign of emotional intelligence is moving from “You made me feel” to “This is how I reacted.” Our emotions aren’t caused by other people’s actions. They’re shaped by our interpretations. Blaming others gives them power over our feelings. Taking responsibility empowers us.

The health of a relationship depends on the amount of uncomfortable conversations people are willing to have.

Conventional wisdom says "relationships matter most in life" and then conveniently leaves out that your relationship with yourself is the greatest predictor of your relationship with others.