Health - Mental

By their questions and their attention, their careful probing and investigative stealth, the therapist tries – harder than anyone may yet have done – to discover how our presenting problem might be related to the rest of our existence and, in particular, to the turmoils of childhood. Over many sessions, a succession of small discoveries contributes

Frightened adults respond to the same comforts as terrified children: gentle holding and rocking and the assurance that somebody bigger and stronger is taking care of things, so you can safely go to sleep.

American psychologist Mary Ainsworth, demonstrates that secure attachment contributes to long-term success in health, relationships, and careers. It’s a greater predictor of success than conventional measures such as IQ. And of course, insecure attachment goes the other way. None of this should come as a surprise. For children, the primary

As we will see, finding words to describe what has happened to you can be transformative, but it does not always abolish flashbacks or improve concentration, stimulate vital involvement in your life or reduce hypersensitivity to disappointments and perceived injuries.

I’ve observed that for some people confidence is more closely associated with doing (and is dependent on their skills and performance), while for others it is related more to their felt security with others. My suspicion is that confidence gets tied up with doing when parents put a lot of emphasis on competence. When children are not shamed for

• Ask for what you want, even if it seems out of reach or like a big unreasonable request


• Take care of your own needs, and others will take care of theirs


• It’s fine to make requests that people will probably say no to


• People