grief and remembering
There’s a layered quality to suffering and intense emotion. As you become interested, a tiny, elf light appears in the darkest dungeon. That’s the gate of emptiness. As you become more interested, you walk deeper into the forest and everything looks different. Sometimes it becomes joyful right away but it doesn’t need to. It’s become a path and tha
... See moreJohn Tarrant • John Tarrant : Articles
But getting older is hard. It is a gift, yes, but it is also heavy. Just as the doors of possibility become fewer and farther between, the burden of grief gets bigger. As the years pass, our losses in life accumulate, threatening to weigh us down. It takes active effort—breaths, walks, conversations with friends, rest—to slow down and remember tha
... See moreKatie Hawkins Gaar • Is This It? This is It.
After the death of my mother I noticed that I didn’t have a repertoire of off-the-shelf feelings. Sometimes I was sad, but mostly I was happy in a way unconnected to her going. Sometimes I was forgetful. When I poured her ashes off an old cast-iron bridge into the river she had lived on all her life, it seemed an intimate and friendly act, and I fe
... See moreJohn Tarrant • Bring Me the Rhinoceros: And Other Zen Koans That Will Save Your Life
The whole of the ancient, master teachings on suffering come down to this: Suffering is the notion “This isn’t it,” and it’s variants such as, “I can’t bear this, it shouldn’t be happening,” and “I have to know how this will turn out” and “What if it gets worse?”
Freedom, waking up and fearlessness come down to the simplicity of, “Wait a minute, wha
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By Andrea Cohen
You’re right that profound grief quickly pushes you away from both certitude and indifference, which are unproductive feelings—
That’s right. Certitude and indifference. They’re the problems with this world.
That’s right. Certitude and indifference. They’re the problems with this world.
Amanda Petrusich • Nick Cave on the Fragility of Life
. I wince now at the words I said in the past to grieving friends. "Find peace in your memories," I used to say. To have love snatched from you, especially unexpectedly, and then to be told to turn to memories. Rather than succor, my memories bring eloquent stabs of pain that say, "This is what you will never again have."
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie • Notes on Grief
But if we are lucky enough, if we are are stubborn enough, we love and we lose and then the loss opens us up to more love — different love, because each love is unrepeatable and irreplaceable — on the other side of grief; love unimaginable from the barren landmass of loss, love without which, once found, the world comes to feel unimaginable.
Maria Popova • Losing Love, Finding Love, and Living with the Fragility of It All
Indeed, when Kant's friend Funk died, he found himself forced to confront what is in some ways the ultimate example of the instant of change: the fact that all that we love will pass, including life itself. Even more poignantly, the very ineradicable nature of that constant, irresistible erosion of the present is what endows our life and the attach
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