Parents think they can hand children permanent confidence—like a gift—by praising their brains and talent. It doesn’t work, and in fact has the opposite effect. It makes children doubt themselves as soon as anything is hard or anything goes wrong. If parents want to give their children a gift, the best thing they can do is to teach their children t... See more
Prove you can do hard things
When a teenager asks why they need to learn calculus, what should you say?
You know they will never use it in adulthood, outside of certain career choices.
You could say, “It’ll help you get into college,” but then they’re left wondering why… Show more
In other words, siblings are forced together, and then suddenly they’re not. The independence of adulthood—when proximity is no longer required and the obligations lessen—creates opportunities for siblings to build, repair, or discard the relationships of their youth, to stay stuck in or break free of the roles they played as children.