Parenting and family stuff

TO MY MIND, THOUGH, there is a third development that has altered our parenting experience above all others, and that is the wholesale transformation of the child’s role, both in the home and in society. Since the end of World War II, childhood has been completely redefined. Today, we work hard to shield children from life’s hardships. But througho... See more

I imagine some mythic women in floral dresses who simply slide into motherhood, goddesses unbothered by the smell of poop, at home in any damp cave. These are the “naturals”: the mom on a transatlantic flight handling three small children, or the unwashed breastfeeding mom who says she wouldn’t mind “another one.” But then there are others, such as... See more

Sean Fennessey concludes his Letterboxd review of Arrival by saying, “Have kids, it changes you in good ways.” I agree but would add one note. Having kids reveals things about yourself to yourself, some good and some not so good. What matters is the revelation. Never waste a revelation.

I once read in a parenting book that one way to deal with kids’ tantrums is to “parent with awe.” In Hunt, Gather, Parent, Michaeleen Doucleff observes the way some Inuit mothers are able to calm children by encouraging them to turn their attention toward beautiful, worldly things.

In the three years of TNF, we’ve covered all kinds of topics and I’ve spent a long time wondering exactly this is. I think there’s something special happening here: a group of dads that have congregated to redefine what fatherhood means for them, and to perhaps contribute towards a shift in the wider definition too. But the core of what this might ... See more

Let’s be open to letting go of cultural myths. We know that the benefits of teenage smartphones do not outweigh the risks and harms. There are thousands of reasons for buying a phone for your child, but there is only one reason to skip it: your child’s health and well-being. And that reason matters more than all the others.

Social media was not created with the best interest of teenagers in mind. Instinctively, we know our kids shouldn’t invest time engaging with social media platforms because we, as adults, can see the dangers—the social comparison, constant judgments, and endless drama. Many of us are so thankful we didn’t have social media when we were their age be... See more

If you’ve read my letters to my son, Myles, you know I am madly in love with him, and I love sharing with the world this love I did not get to experience myself. He’s given me a new sense of purpose. (I hate disclaimers, but I feel like I had to set this up for what I’m about to say.)

At the same time, I struggle with how much my marriage changed so... See more