One of the things that happens as boys are growing up is they learn about a very restrictive version of masculinity, a list of things that you’re not allowed to do or say. Particularly around emotions: You’re allowed to be angry, and you might be able to cry if something’s really bad — like a sports team you’re on loses a really important game, or... See more
Punishment and appeasement are both short-term, reactive solutions as opposed to long-term, proactive solutions. Regardless of whether the parent or teacher chooses punishment or appeasement, the child misses countless opportunities to build competency in crucial life skills such as self-discipline, self-control, and conflict-resolution.
TO MY MIND, THOUGH, there is a third development that has altered our parenting experience above all others, and that is the wholesale transformation of the child’s role, both in the home and in society. Since the end of World War II, childhood has been completely redefined. Today, we work hard to shield children from life’s hardships. But... See more