Parenting and family stuff
good stuff from around the internet on raising good kids, building a family, etc.
sari and
Parenting and family stuff
“The very best thing you can do for your kids is to love your spouse.”
― Kevin Kelly
In the mid-1990s, Dr. Marshall Duke and Dr. Robyn Fivush developed a measure called “Do You Know?” It had a series of 20 questions, including: Do you know where your grandparents grew up? Do you know where your mom and dad went to high school? Do you know where your parents met? Do you know an illness or something terrible that happened in your family? Do you know the story of your birth? It turned out that having the answers to these questions was the single best predictor of children’s emotional health and happiness. Children who know more about their families tend to do better when they face challenges, be more resilient, and moderate the effects of stress. Our family’s story—our history—is linked to our own personal identity and knowing that we belong to a larger family. “Children who have the most self-confidence have . . . a strong 'intergenerational self.’ They know they belong to something bigger than themselves,” said Dr. Duke…
My advice to fathers-to-be: work smart and hard leading up to birth, build as much momentum in your meditation practice as possible, strengthen your back muscles (never skip leg day), expect to get 3x less done after birth, take time to ground your nervous system daily, and remember your primary job in the early days is supporting the mother.
Loading
Parents think they can hand children permanent confidence—like a gift —by praising their brains and talent. It doesn’t work, and in fact has the opposite effect. It makes children doubt themselves as soon as anything is hard or anything goes wrong. If parents want to give their children a gift, the best thing they can do is to teach their children... See more
Carol Dweck • Mindset: The New Psychology of Success
For what it’s worth, in raising our own kids we created an effective, balanced, common-sense approach based not on rules but on three principles. Treat everyone with respect. Whatever you undertake, give it your best effort. You, and only you, are accountable for your actions.
Dont force your kid to blindly adhere to your rules, if they learn to blindly follow you they will not be able to make rational decisions for themselves. I always said "my rules are law, unless you can tell me reasonably why you have a better idea" this gets kids thinking about their situation, and not just acting out against you. Shows them that
... See more