Parenting and family stuff

“The fact is, most of the freedom I had before kids, I never used. I paid for it in loneliness, but I never used it.I had plenty of happy times before I had kids. But if I count up happy moments, not just potential happiness but actual happy moments, there are more after kids than before. Now I practically have it on tap, almost any bedtime.”

I imagine some mythic women in floral dresses who simply slide into motherhood, goddesses unbothered by the smell of poop, at home in any damp cave. These are the “naturals”: the mom on a transatlantic flight handling three small children, or the unwashed breastfeeding mom who says she wouldn’t mind “another one.” But then there are others, such as... See more

But because adults conceal their flaws, and at the same time insist on high standards of behavior for kids, a lot of kids grow up feeling they fall hopelessly short. They walk around feeling horribly evil for having used a swearword, while in fact most of the adults around them are doing much worse things.

If you’ve read my letters to my son, Myles, you know I am madly in love with him, and I love sharing with the world this love I did not get to experience myself. He’s given me a new sense of purpose. (I hate disclaimers, but I feel like I had to set this up for what I’m about to say.)

At the same time, I struggle with how much my marriage changed so... See more