emotional intelligence

One of the things that happens as boys are growing up is they learn about a very restrictive version of masculinity, a list of things that you’re not allowed to do or say. Particularly around emotions: You’re allowed to be angry, and you might be able to cry if something’s really bad — like a sports team you’re on loses a really important game, or ... See more

A sign of emotional intelligence is moving from “You made me feel” to “This is how I reacted.” Our emotions aren’t caused by other people’s actions. They’re shaped by our interpretations. Blaming others gives them power over our feelings. Taking responsibility empowers us.

When I train leaders in empathy, one of the first hurdles I need to get over is this stereotype that empathy is too soft and squishy for the work environment. It’s easy to debunk that. There are decades of evidence showing that empathy is a workplace superpower.

Employees who believe their organizations, and especially their managers, are empathic t... See more

Blaming and complaining are mixtures of genuine grief and defensive anger.