A sign of emotional intelligence is moving from “You made me feel” to “This is how I reacted.”
Our emotions aren’t caused by other people’s actions. They’re shaped by our interpretations.
Blaming others gives them power over our feelings. Taking responsibility empowers us.
The most competent people I know are pretty good at basically anything they put their minds to, because they just design a process and run it. I think this is largely mental and emotional—the hardest part isn’t figuring out the steps, it’s enduring the psychological discomfort of doing them and then adapting.