A sign of emotional intelligence is moving from “You made me feel” to “This is how I reacted.”
Our emotions aren’t caused by other people’s actions. They’re shaped by our interpretations.
Blaming others gives them power over our feelings. Taking responsibility empowers us.
Anger can be motivating if you step back to analyze it
Just get good at paying attention to bodily sensations. It might help to actually try saying things out loud, or writing them down, just going through a list of everything you notice about how your body feels right now. What you will tend to notice over time is that there are certain characteristic familiar patterns of how you are feeling.