difficult conversations

The people who oppose your perspective are the best people to point to your blind spots and help you avoid making mistakes or fighting for the wrong thing.

When we’re having a disagreement with someone, it’s really useful to pay attention to which of the three realms we’re experiencing. The three realms are: anxiety about what is true (the head realm of information and science), anxiety about what is meaningful (the heart realm of preferences and values), and anxiety about what is useful (the hands re... See more

We can really change only two things: our own minds and our own behavior.

Step One—Empathy. When someone is criticizing or attacking you, his (or her) motives may be to help you or to hurt you. What the critic says may be right or wrong, or somewhere in between. But it is not wise to focus on these issues initially. Instead, ask the person a series of specific questions designed to find out exactly what he or she means. ... See more