Being nice is all about making the other person feel good. Being kind is about providing them with what they actually need. Nice is about feelings. Kindness is about concrete help. And if you want to do great work together, you should aim to be kind rather than nice.
When delivering tough feedback, use this framework:
Start directly: “I want to chat with you about [specific issue]”
Share observations: “What I’m hearing/seeing is [specific examples]”
Connect to impact: “We both know that to be successful here...”
Focus on future: “Let’s discuss how we can improve this going forward”