Delivering Feedback

The most important ingredient for giving effective feedback is care for the other person.

Your intent must to be genuinely help the other person. You must see and validate them, and thus want what’s best for them. If you go into giving feedback with a kind of I mantra in your head—I want to sound smart, I want them to like me, I give them a piece of... See more

Feedback is ineffective if it does NOT result in the other person taking action in a way they or you feel good about.

As the remixed Dostoevsky quote goes, All effective feedback is alike; each piece of ineffective feedback is ineffective in its own way.

Ineffective feedback is feedback the other person…

…already knew, so they don’t do anything... See more

When delivering tough feedback, use this framework:

Start directly: “I want to chat with you about [specific issue]”

Share observations: “What I’m hearing/seeing is [specific examples]”

Connect to impact: “We both know that to be successful here...”

Focus on future: “Let’s discuss how we can improve this going forward”

If someone gets defensive during... See more

“People listen better if they feel that you have understood them. They tend to think that those who understand them are intelligent and sympathetic people whose own opinions may be worth listening to. So if you want the other side to appreciate your interests, begin by demonstrating that you appreciate theirs.”

― Roger Fisher, Getting to Yes:

... See more