Being nice is all about making the other person feel good. Being kind is about providing them with what they actually need. Nice is about feelings. Kindness is about concrete help. And if you want to do great work together, you should aim to be kind rather than nice.
There's a great quote that Nick Saban said. He said that average players want to be left alone. Good players want to be coached, and great players want to be told the truth. Michael had a giant ego and a giant drive, but he would run up to the coach and tell me what I need to get better at.
The most important ingredient for giving effective feedback is care for the other person.
Your intent must to be genuinely help the other person. You must see and validate them, and thus want what’s best for them. If you go into giving feedback with a kind of I mantra in your head—I want to sound smart, I want them to like me, I give them a piece of... See more