Instead of telling people what I think of a proposal, a product, a feature, whatever, I ask them instead what they think. Were they thrilled with it? Absolutely love it? Most of the time I would hear, “It's okay,” or “It's not bad.” They would surmise from my facial expression that this wasn't the answer I was looking for. Come back when you are... See more
Being nice is all about making the other person feel good. Being kind is about providing them with what they actually need. Nice is about feelings. Kindness is about concrete help. And if you want to do great work together, you should aim to be kind rather than nice.
The most important ingredient for giving effective feedback is care for the other person.
Your intent must to be genuinely help the other person. You must see and validate them, and thus want what’s best for them. If you go into giving feedback with a kind of I mantra in your head—I want to sound smart, I want them to like me, I give them a piece of... See more