Delivering Feedback

The most important ingredient for giving effective feedback is care for the other person.

Your intent must to be genuinely help the other person. You must see and validate them, and thus want what’s best for them. If you go into giving feedback with a kind of I mantra in your head—I want to sound smart, I want them to like me, I give them a piece of... See more

When delivering tough feedback, use this framework:

Start directly: “I want to chat with you about [specific issue]”

Share observations: “What I’m hearing/seeing is [specific examples]”

Connect to impact: “We both know that to be successful here...”

Focus on future: “Let’s discuss how we can improve this going forward”

If someone gets defensive during... See more

Instead of telling people what I think of a proposal, a product, a feature, whatever, I ask them instead what they think. Were they thrilled with it? Absolutely love it? Most of the time I would hear, “It's okay,” or “It's not bad.” They would surmise from my facial expression that this wasn't the answer I was looking for. Come back when you are... See more

• #fyi — had a thought, no real hill to die on.


• #suggestion — there’s a hill, I’m not going to die on it. But this is what I would do if I were you.


• #recommendation — I’m climbing the hill, I won’t die on it. But I’ve thought about this a lot, and don’t ignore the feedback.


• #plea — I don’t like dying on hills and that’s not really what we do, but this

... See more