cringe tolerance

Embarassment is pro-human, anti-perfectionism, and perhaps the way you can reclaim your humanity.

Ways you can confront embarrassment:

• Dancing badly in public


• Mispronouncing a word


• Posting content that’s not “cool”


• Singing loudly


• Trying something new as an adult


• Asking a question you “should know”


• Going to the gym as a beginner


• Speaking a new language


• Trying out a new style

Embarassment exposure therapy

When you experience embarrassment, view it as muscle building. You get stronger every time you use it. It’s uncomfortable, but you build resilience. Your life gets bigger when your willingness to look stupid expands.

Perhaps you’re embarrassed when you appear too keen — very common (especially in the UK, where I’m from). But what is being too keen? Keenness is awesome! It’s excitement, it’s optimism, it’s energy — it’s knowing what you want and being in the active pursuit of it. Why would you care if people thought you were too much of this awesome emotion?

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What makes you embarrassed? Follow it. Learn about it. Befriend your embarrassment. It may reveal what you want in life.

Kierkegaard would argue that embarrassment is simply the discomfort of confronting your true self. For him, it wasn’t despair that was sadness — it was the act of living as someone you’re not. It was living as your online persona, never getting in touch with your messy authentic self. When you feel embarrassed, you’re brushing up against honesty.

embarrassment is often the moment where authenticity breaks through. Our authentic selves are messy and childlike and afraid and eager and all the emotions that seem a little bit too much for the modern world.

embarrassment feels catastrophic — life-ending even — because we’re constantly managing our image. We feel vulnerable and exposed.

Embarrassment isn’t just about doing something “cringe” — it’s about the tension between who you are and who you’re trying to appear to be.